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Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

Of course, it is much easier to work on relationships if both people are involved and committed. But this is not always possible. When the other person is refusing to work with you and instead uses gaslighting as a coping mechanism for conflict and disagreement, they are unlikely to have the degree of self-awareness needed to take responsibility for their actions and to work on the relationship.

So, here’s the thing: although it seems unfair, the victim of gaslighting needs to take charge of their own responses and do what they can to help themselves. This is not easy, but it is much better than waiting endlessly for the other person to change.

Over the next few days, let us explore some ways to help ourselves if we find ourselves in such a situation.

The first and perhaps most important step is to recognize and name the gaslighting. Name what is going on between you and your spouse, friend, family member, colleague, or boss. If it is not safe for you to express it to them, name it to yourself.

The thing with gaslighting is that it only works when a victim isn’t aware of what’s going on. By definition, once you recognize that the problem is not in how you perceive reality but in how the other person is manipulating the situation to avoid discussing real issues, gaslighting will begin to lose some of its power.

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings

Marzia  

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Lots more resources on living your best self www.marziahassan.org

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Here are some book recommendations on learning how to apologize

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner PhD, Cassandra Campbell, et al.

Sorry About That: The Language of Public Apology. By Edwin Battistella

When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies by Lauren M. Bloom

Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador

On Apology by Aaron Lazare

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships by Beverly Engel

The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman


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