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Salaams and Good Morning !
Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!
It is very helpful to have a list of questions already prepared when we want to challenge our unhelpful thoughts and negative assumptions.
Here are 25 questions that we can choose from. When we notice our distorted thinking patterns, lets challenge the validity of these distortions. They can seldom hold up to this type of questioning.
· Is this thought helpful?
· What are the disadvantages of thinking this way?
· Do I have a trusted friend whom I can check out these thoughts with?
· Are there other ways that I can think about this situation or myself?
· Am I blaming myself unnecessarily?
· Is it really in my control?
· Is it all someone else’s fault?
· Am I overgeneralizing?
· Am I making assumptions?
· How can I test my assumptions/beliefs to find out it they’re accurate?
· What would I say to a friend in this situation?
· Can I look for "shades of gray"?
· Am I assuming the worst?
· Am I holding myself to an unreasonable or double standard?
· Am I holding someone else to an unreasonable or double standard?
· Are my expectations of myself or others realistic?
· Are there exceptions to these absolutes (always, never)?
· Am I making this personal when it isn’t?
· Is it possible that this has
nothing whatsoever to do with me?
· Could it be that the person I am angry at had no intention to harm me and may not even be aware that I am upset?
· How is this line of thinking causing me to behave?
· Is this way of thinking adding value to
my life? Is it making me happy?
· Is there another way to look at this situation which would enhance rather than compromise my emotional and mental wellbeing?
· What would be a more balanced way to look at this situation?
· If I was a
lawyer, how would I argue the other side? How persuasive an argument could I make for another perspective on this situation?
Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings
Marzia
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Please scroll down
for a list of recommended books on building your emotional intelligence
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Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns, MD
The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be cured without drugs. In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Dr. Daniel Goleman.
Touching on psychology and neuroscience, the expert on brain and behavioral sciences, Dr. Goleman explains the crucial skills for success offered by emotional intelligence that can determine your success in relationships and work and may impact your overall health.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni.
One of the most famous on this topic, this book is focused more on ways to use EQ to improve your life. You’ll find a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence that focuses on four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, along with activities that will help you boost each of these areas.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
The classic on self-growth, this book remains a top seller and go-to for millions around the world. Taking a less conventional approach to the subject, he isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, but rather presents a guide for anyone looking to better understand and control their emotions. The seven habits described in his book all require
an awareness and control of emotional intelligence while teaching people how to become more proactive, a big-picture thinker, manage various interaction while building more effective communication.
The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationshipsby Jeanne Segal.
A great resource for finding information on using emotional intelligence to build better relationships with just about everyone in your life. Segal lays out a simple step-by-step program on how to use five basic tools of emotional intelligence to enhance your relationships through better communication, reading non-verbal cues, and gaining skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts before they get out of hand.
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